Gothic wedding

"We loved with a love that was more than love." Edgar Allan Poe

Night and darkness attract dark romantics like light attracts a moth, because the mysticism of what is hidden in the dark enchants and soothes the black souls of those who do not describe themselves as normal and therefore more or less do not conform to the social norm. It's especially nice when this (self-)realisation doesn't cause gloom on the one hand, and on the other, when you can give your own deep black heart to a like-minded partner. So it's especially nice when two children of the night find each other among dark and gloomy Gothic fans, who want to discover the secrets of the shadows together and who would love to say ‘I do’ according to conventional standards.

After what feels like years of lockdown, including working from home, many a couple who have mastered the last few months of the pandemic together without any damage worth mentioning can rightly think that they have passed the test of who can tie the knot summa cum laude. With normality slowly returning, there is hardly anything standing in the way of a wedding celebration. And since your own wedding is supposed to be ‘the best day of your life’, you can confidently throw conventions overboard and plan and organise the big event to your own taste. This rightly raises the question of whether a wedding dress really has to be white. Quite clearly: No, it doesn't have to be.

Getting married? Yes, but NOT all in white, please.

When it comes talking about peace, joy and pancakes, the German pop song ‘Ganz in Weiß, mit einem Blumenstrauß ...’ (All in white, with a bouquet of flowers ...) not only musically, Roy Black's pop song from the 80s sends a nasty shiver down the spine of many a gloomy soul and the resulting mental cinema also creates images that neither correspond to the rather black taste nor fit in with one's own dark attitude to life in the slightest.

Why are ‘normal’ wedding dresses white?

Since the early 17th century, a white or cream-coloured wedding dress has symbolised the epitome of innocence, virginity and purity. Back then, as is often the case today, the trend was set by the haute vouleur with the wedding of Maria de Medici in 1600, followed by the white weddings of Princess Elizabeth Stuart and later her granddaughter Princess Mary Stuart. The triumph of the white wedding dress has continued ever since, with only a few interruptions. The alternative to innocent white, whether during years of privation during the war or in simple rural areas, was the black Sunday or festive dress. 

Today, some brides dream of a white wedding dress like something out of Disney's fairy tale, while others are gripped by sheer horror at the mere thought of a white cream meringue dress. Today, it is safe to say that statistically speaking, there are now fewer virgin brides in white than brides in black. It's not just gloomy gothic ladies who may ponder the choice of wardrobe, because it's not really the bride's external perception that matters, but how the lady herself feels in the chic dress on the most important day of her life. For the self-confident, grown-up lady who has both feet on the ground, the innocent white colour often creates a feeling of hypocritical disguise. 

The black wedding dress

For around 400 years, the white organza wedding gown has almost had the status of an unwritten law. However, as unusual as a black wedding dress may seem to some contemporaries, black is by no means the only colour used in the festive wardrobe for this occasion. With the so-called ‘Spanish fashion’ in the 16th century, the black, strict and stiff costume dictated by the southern European court advanced to become the common wedding fashion of the nobility and bourgeoisie in synchronisation with the increasing political influence of the Iberian royal house. Just like the innocent white later on, the high-necked black dresses symbolised the piety of the virgin bride.

Simply colourful without innocence?

All the symbolic ‘black and white painting’ around the right colour for your wedding dress can make you feel a bit dizzy. It might be a good idea to put tradition to one side and tie the knot in exactly the colour you want. This applies first and foremost to the type of partnership, which can be just as colourful as your wedding wardrobe. No matter how many brides or grooms a wedding couple contains and how many dresses or tails the wedding couple will wear on the big day, many couples who have moved beyond the supposedly desirable picture-book state with their relationship have one thing in common: it should be a fabulously magical day. 

From pale goths to rebellious bikers: black always works.

The right outfit for the big day is available for both men and women, from rocking biker style to lavish Victorian opulence, even at moderate prices without customisation. The wardrobe should always adapt to the planned celebration and not the celebration to the wardrobe. 

For the biker bride, it is advisable to choose a dress that allows her to easily get on her own Harley or alternatively the pillion without running the risk of getting tangled up in the spokes or catching fire on the exhaust pipe together with her festive gown. For him, cool pimped-up leather trousers or black jeans with rough boots and an imaginative frock coat with punky details are a good choice. 

If dark Victorian opulence is on the programme in the medieval castle, it is particularly important for the groom to take thermal expectations into account. It would be too unfortunate if the groom were to suffer a predictable heat stroke in the afternoon in bright sunshine with a high-necked frilled shirt, velvet waistcoat and brocade tailcoat with a perfectly fitting plastron after what felt like 1.5 litres of heavy, blood-red ruby champagne. Lightweight materials and possibly a festive waistcoat with tails can easily remedy the situation without compromising on style and elegance.

The right location and decoration

Castles, palaces, barns, romantic hideaways ... the list and selection of party locations for any type of wedding celebration is long and varied. What the somewhat ‘different’ wedding has in common with the normal wedding, however, is usually the location, because the subtle difference between dream castles or original village romance lies more in the chosen decoration. If you're not organising the flowers, tablecloths, candles etc. yourself anyway, it's worth being open about your own wishes. Many a banquet manager will breathe a sigh of relief when white covers, white flowers, white doves and white napkins are not used. If you're looking for initial ideas for bridal bouquets, decorations and cakes, you can't go past Pinterest. It's impressive, for example, what can be created from dark chocolate and red berries of all kinds to radiate vampiresque flair.

Reuse instead of recycling

With pride and great attention to detail, Boudoir Noir also offers a whole host of women's and men's fashion that is perfect for weddings with a difference. As true Swabians, the ‘Subber-bragdische-Sparer-Tipp’ from us Düster-Vierteles-Schlozer should of course not be missing at this point: Outfits customised for the wedding from the Boudoir Noir range are usually great to continue wearing after the wedding. The black corset worn at the wedding with a cool pair of leggings is perfect for a loud concert night or the groom's waistcoat combined with a black shirt and leather trousers makes the gentleman stylishly ready for a long festival weekend.

Do you go together like peanut butter and jelly and are planning your dream wedding? Boudoir Noir will be happy to help and advise you in choosing a dark, unusual outfit for the big day! 

This text originally appeared in the 2021 issue of Böse Mode magazine.